The best way to answer that question is to describe a few qualities of the greatest father in all of creation, God Himself. The first quality I’ll describe is He is God so He has no ego. He is completely egoless. What does that mean as a father? It means everything is outward. Nothing is about Him. He already knows that He has everything He needs. He doesn’t need His children to make Him feel good about Himself. We are not His legacy. We are His creations. He brought us into being and He give us everything. The only thing He desires is love and appreciation and to remember Him. Even obeying His rules is a gift to ourselves. He doesn’t need us to obey His rules. Those rules were provided to us so we could lead a blessed life.
So the first and foremost quality that makes a great father great is to be completely outward about our children and recognize that they are godly gifts that come through us. They’re not for us and they don’t represent us. That’s a difficult task as a human being because He says every human being has this issue or this challenge of dealing with an ego. So egolessness is one of the qualities that we should emulate as parents and what makes great fathers great.
A second quality is infinite patience. He never gets perturbed or impatient with me when I speak with Him. If I ask Him a question for the fourth or fifth time or the hundredth time, His answer is calm and loving and He never has an attitude with me. Ever! I can give you countless examples of where I ask Him something that I should already know the answer to. He never ever speaks derisively or condescendingly to me. It’s not in Him. It’s not of Him.
And lastly, the biggest quality that I love about Him the most—love. He is pure love. I have many many conversations where I just am dazzled by how loving He is. He’s funny and comical and He know exactly what to say and when to say it to lift my spirit. Everything He does is for me and for all of us. He is completely void of needs for Himself. He is all taken care of. He is God.
Great fathers who want to be great should emulate being egoless, meaning it’s not about you, it’s about your children. Be infinitely patient. Don’t ever speak down to your children or condescendingly. Don’t ever lose your patience with your children. They’re your children.
And lastly, love your children infinitely the way Hashem God loves us. Pure love. Expect nothing back from your children except love and appreciation. Don’t even expect that. Expect nothing and receive everything. That’s the way Hashem is. He expects nothing. He desires love and appreciation.
On this father’s day I hope this question and answer gives you food for thought and you reach up and you reach high and be the greatest father that you can possibly be. May there be peace on earth in our time. God bless you.